Another year gone by. There is so much that happens in a year yet in a way it is all the same. The highs, the lows and the inbetweens. Our moments of triumphs, our moments of despair and our moments of indifference. Each moment adding up to seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and then our year.
It reminds me again of the mountain. Our goals being the mountain tops, yet in life there is not just one mountain top but many because every ceiling becomes a floor once it is reached. As we struggle day in and day out; we keep sight of our goals. We seek it out in the middle of the night under the moon. We wake up at dawn to take a glimpse before the fear and pain set in. Our guides up the mountain are our friends and family who pull us through when we are not strong enough. They can lighten the load but we are left to walk the path ourselves. We know where we want to go but we don’t know the paths we might need to take to get there. Despite the difficulties, at the end of the day there shall be triumph – either we will gain what we wanted or learn patience and gain something else.
There will be moments where we will be able to fly but we are not expected to fly all the time -otherwise we would have been born with wings. When the springboard appears – take your leap and when it’s not there – you are not weak- you are normal.
To all those who have followed me – through the last year and a half – and all those reading this – Thank You for following this journey,our journey. It started off as an external trip of travel and mystery but ended up with an inner change – a discovery from within.
I wish you all so much – I wish you the world and more.I hope you find the courage inside you to go for your dreams, to fight fear and stare it in the eye, and friends and family and love that will pull you through when it’s too hard to stand up.
Here’s to 2013 !Happy New Year Folks!
Last Night I was driving back home from work a bit later than usual. I’ve been thinking of going on a trip recently.I’ve been wanting to go since about the beginning of December and I actually really wanted to be there on my birthday which is in about a month. Anyways so I figured if the chance would come up I would take it, if not I would wait. Randomly about 2 weeks ago a friend sent me an email showing me and amazing deal going to exactly this location and the first day of the trip was March 31st which is a day after my birthday which is just as good because then I get to start my year there.It sounded awesome now I needed to see if I could go – if all the outside forces would allow for me to go.
Between then and now I have officially gotten the go- head from all parties.Now the only thing I need to do is register for the trip which are just my details and an uploaded picture of my passport. My passport is not with me where I stay but is just about 10 minutes away and that’s all that’s needed to start the process.
So I’m driving back from work and literally staring at the street that I’m suppose to turn into to pick up my passport from about 5 minutes away. I want to go into it but a little voice inside my head says ” you can go tomorrow, what will one day do?” And as I get closer and closer I get more and more fidgety because at the end of the day spots on awesome trips do run out in a day. But I end up driving past the road. But then suddenly something overcomes me and I turn my car around and turn into the street.
I wasn’t going to let this go. Why would I ? What was stopping me? My indecisiveness literally kills me. By watching that street pass I was watching an opportunity of a lifetime just go past me. Yes, if I try my hardest and it doesn’t work out – fine but why would I make this decision myself? Why would I deny myself my dream?
Side note: I had been really indecisive with choosing a group to climb Kili with too. And I had found the perfect group with the perfect size and safety and all and I delayed it by one day and when I emailed to ask her about payment she replied saying that one of the group members just added his brother and wife to the group and it was now full. My heart sank. Like Sank to the ground and below. I had been looking for so long for the perfect group and my fear stopped me and I lost it. I thank God I got to climb my mountain but man would I have been upset if I hadn’t and I had the opportunity. Pure regret.
I delay a lot of decisions – as much as I can at least. I think in my mind I think if I wait long enough and come up with enough excuses the decision will be made for me ( like it was for Kili). The trip deal will eventually expire, the plane will eventually get full or something will happen and then it’s out of my control so ” I tried.” If you don’t try and you lose it doesn’t suck as much as if you try and lose right?
But there’s been a change in me. The last 6 months have changed me. I’m learning to try and go for what I truly want. I’m not saying I didn’t do what I truly wanted for the last 4 years because I had a blast there but it was a race. I found it hard to even hear what I truly wanted. And now I’ve taken a step out of the race and I’m running my own race – going for my own dreams.
So, As I turned my car around, I promised myself that I’m going to start making more decisions actively.I’m going to try and take control of my life or whatever part I can control and the rest is left up to a greater force.I’ll start taking the small decisions first and hopefully won’t wait till the very last minute because at the end of the day hard decisions never get easier to make. Don’t pass up opportunities my friends – Grab them and LIVE! Sometimes you have to jump and believe in that crazy dream you have because if you don’t believe, how can anyone else?